by Lorraine Jones
Entering a new relationship can be scary. Everyone has their preferences based on personal experiences and their signature personality. Every man looks for something different in a new relationship. It helps to know what you want before entering a relationship to save you time when dealing with people who are completely wrong for you, helping you better understand yourself, and making it easier to identify red flags when they arise.
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Dainis Graveris, certified sex educator and relationship expert, believes from personal experience that it’s hard to imagine the ideal relationship until you’re actually in it. “If you’re still single, chances are you don’t know how your best relationships could look like. How could you if you’ve never experienced them? The next best thing is maybe you have seen good role models in your parents or friends, but know that still, you will never see the whole picture,” said Graveris.
The most important thing Graveris looks for in a new relationship is: ‘Are you getting along well, especially during challenges and extended periods together?’ A test he uses when beginning a new relationship is taking a trip to the countryside for a week. Graveris has only had one woman pass this test and they are still together three years later. The two spent every day together and it was effortless. They had a few hiccups but were painless to solve, that's when he knew. A red flag that Graveris notices when beginning a new relationship is when he finds himself compromising a lot to avoid conflict or to make her happy.
Graveris has had several experiences in which he was dating a woman and everything seemed perfect… until they moved in together. About three to six months into the relationship, he would decide to move in with the woman he was dating and the relationship would fall apart at the seams. “Turns out, going on dates is like Instagram pictures. It is your edited and romantic version of yourself - you’re selling yourself and your life. When you live together and see each other through ups/downs, happiness/challenges... That’s when you really can understand whether you are a good match or not,” said Graveris.
Achintya Kolipakkam, Designation Content Marketer, has three necessary qualities in an ideal relationship: loyalty, communication, and empathy. Kolipakkam finds it beneficial if both partners know what each other is going through. If each of them can put themselves in the other’s shoes, Kolipakkam notices that there are fewer conflicts and more love. Kolipakkam has noticed that his personality meshes better with a calm personality, and a soft and sharp mind. Kolipakkam ideally looks for less aggression and more compassion in a new relationship. Someone to joke around about. A few red flags that are completely turned on for him when entering a new relationship is any indication of excess privileged ego or arrogance.
There is no exact answer to what men want in a new relationship. It all depends on you and your personal preferences. You must know yourself, your likes, and your dislikes before you can truly know whether someone is meant for you or know what you want out of a relationship. When entering a new relationship, trust your instincts and keep your ideal mate in mind.