Sorry, Mrs. Jaxn: The Pain Under the Bonnet

Sigh...well, the hot topic over the past week has been the entire Derrick Jaxn cheating debacle. The internet exploded with chatter regarding his cheating and false persona. The most disturbing event regarding all of this was the revelation of Jaxn's wife. In a poor attempt to do damage control, Jaxn recorded a video with his wife, Da'Naia.

Honestly, I was not surprised over the cheating allegations. Jaxn has created a huge following based on limited information and honesty on his own personal life. That being said, it was not truly shocking to hear that low and behold he was not the perfect partner he presented himself to be. The most disturbing and uncomfortable thing for me was seeing Mrs. Jaxn herself.

In the video, we all finally saw the better half of a man who has propped himself up on a pedestal of creating an image of being "the perfect" man. His persona was on a level of looking down and preaching to men all over the world pointing out their flaws with little to no reference to his own personal life. In retrospect, that was a huge red flag that this man was an obvious fraud. But I digress. I want to really talk about the disturbing reveal of his wife.

Of course the biggest thing that everyone has focused on is the infamous bonnet that Mrs. Jaxn (Whooooo!) wore in the video. She was 100% for reeeeal! Factually, it appeared that she was actually wearing a hat and not a bonnet, but all of this is really irrelevant. For me, the reason her appearance disturbed me was not so much her outer appearance, but the front row seat of witnessing such a broken shell of a woman. I can't speak for anyone else, but for me I automatically recognized the signs of an abused woman. There was no life behind her eyes and she appeared to be worn down, sad, depressed, and lacking all self-esteem.

For those that have argued the point that it was not necessary to be all dolled up for the camera, I think they are missing the point. Derrick Jaxn has created a huge audience speaking about relationships and how women should be treated. All of these years, he has never revealed his spouse. The video we saw the other day showed a woman who was disheveled and unprepared to be on a camera. It was alarming for me to see that this was how he chose to introduce his wife for the first time to the world? A man that has taken so much time into his own personal appearance and physique definitely had no regard on the appearance of his chosen life partner. It was disturbing!

In addition, another thing that was extremely bothersome was the couple's demeanor as a whole. Jaxn's handholding even appeared to be aggressive. I didn't pick up on affectionate energy. That video displayed views of control, abuse, emotional manipulation and a lack of sincerity just to name a few. The lack of regard for her appearance only reiterated why I picked up signs of abuse. The "damage control" video was all about him and not how millions of viewers would perceive his wife. It was beyond other people's opinion of his wife, but HIS opinion of his own wife.

We have all witnessed his videos that have practically bordered on self-righteousness. Again, for me the blinders were removed and this self-appointed relationship expert is not only a fraud, but a serious manipulative and emotionally abusive man. As far as Mrs. Jaxn, I sincerely feel nothing other than pity and empathy for her. I viewed her personal Instagram page and I was disturbed even further. It is really sad when people fall into cult-like behavior and use their perception of God to justify experiencing pain and impossible suffering. A young woman should have a light in her and a bright spirit. Instead, when I saw this woman, I witnessed a shell of brokenness, unhappiness, depression and heavy sadness.

I am so sorry Mrs. Jaxn.

I feel sorry for you and my heart breaks for you. I am saddened that this is how you view God and love. You shouldn't have to be so broken and you deserve better---And sometimes better means single. You deserve peace, Mrs. Jaxn. You deserve true love and respect. You deserve the actual real man that your husband only pretended to be for sales and clout. The pain I see underneath that bonnet is familiar to me. I understand firsthand the dead weight of holding on for the kids, holding on for appearances, and holding on because you have been manipulated so terribly that you think there are no other options left.

I pray for this young woman and I hope that she finds the power to break through the abuse and manipulation while finding the clarity and intelligence she needs to find peace. I hope that the God she proudly claims herself to be a soldier for, aids her in understanding love is not a battlefield.