by Molly Cohen
Communication is vital for any healthy relationship, whether you have been together for a while, just started to date, or are beginning to develop feelings for one another; communication can be hard to tackle. It can be overwhelming for some to go about sharing their feelings. To build, grow, and maintain a healthy relationship, it’s important to share openly and honestly. Learning to communicate these feelings can be challenging, but in the long run, it can be rewarding as it builds trust and strengthens the relationship and bond further. By practicing these three tips, you can find more effective ways to communicate your feelings for her.
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Finding the right time to communicate your feelings is just as important as what you say. You have to be intentional in picking the right time to share your emotions. Picking the wrong moment can lead to ineffective conversations that weaken the relationship. The wrong times to communicate these feelings are when she might be distracted, tired, busy, in a bad mood, or the worst one, drunk. Don’t ever have an important conversation when one or both of you are inebriated; it will never end well. This can lead to saying the wrong thing, or not conveying what you feel in the right way—your words could be misinterpreted. Instead, pick a time when you are certain you and her can give one another your full, undivided attention. There isn’t anything wrong with planning your conversation out in advance. Make sure to have the conversation face-to-face. Communicating over text or the phone is never as productive as communicating in person. Over the phone, emotion and context can be lost. You can’t see her facial expressions or body language. Picking a time to communicate will help your conversation go smoothly and with less frustration or problems.
During emotional situations, our thoughts and judgments can get clouded. Don’t forget to stay calm, breathe, and focus on not just what you’re feeling, but what she is feeling, too. Listening is very important when communicating your feelings. If you don’t listen to what she is saying, the conversation can become one-sided and counterproductive. Remember, successful communication is a two-way street, so don’t interrupt her when she is sharing, and be patient during the conversation. By listening you will gain insight into what she is feeling, this can help you resolve any issues you are having or help you express your feelings for her more effectively. Usually, women are very open and tend to speak openly about their emotions; your only job is to make sure you are comprehending—there is nothing worse than having to repeat yourself during a conversation. Listening can lead to understanding her better and feeling understood leads to a healthier relationship, where you both feel respected.
Don’t bottle things up. This can be catastrophic for any relationship, new or old. Bottling things up can turn your conversation into a heated argument or lead to aggressive yelling. Make sure you are being calm and clear when communicating your feelings to her. Pay special attention to your body language and tone, as this can sometimes send the wrong message. Suppressing your feelings isn’t helpful to anyone and will cause more harm than good. A great way to avoid bottling your emotions up is to write them down. Whenever you’re feeling something—but it’s not a good time to share—write it down. This can relieve stress and anxiety, and when it’s time to have that conversation, you can pull what you’ve written out and share more calmly and clearly. It’s important to be concise and intentional, and writing down your feelings can help with this.
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Communicating your feelings can be vulnerable to anyone. When sitting down to have a conversation with her, remember these 3 tips and it will go a lot better. Timing, listening, and being open are simple and easy communication tips to have a more productive and successful conversation about your feelings. Communication is a skill and can be hard to perfect; it will take time to master and there can always be room for improvement in your relationship.
For more help, visit One Love, an organization dedicated to educating people about the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships.